MIDSUMMER

The rising sun hit the door of my pantry where I post pictures I want to
remember, enjoy, take in and hold.

The sun is golden, hot, so present in its greeting of this day. So, after a dry spell, I headed for the shelves
holding poetry books.

Because I wanted to stay in the golden hue of a born-ing day, I picked one book at random, simply opened it to a page, 192.

Here’s what I found:
” I can feel my ship about to come in.
A white ship in a snowstorm
moving in.

The ship is made of gulls
huddled together
in the shape of a ship,

When it arrives, they will fly out into the storm,
leaving a space inside it
clear as reason.

I can tell there’s going to be a blizzard
of being somewhere else
any minute

because of time’s noise eating itself up
that is the noise of listening
that looks like a seething, florid whiteout of wings.”
– JACK MYERS….and the poem was entitled Writing or not Writing. (thanks, Deborah, yougave me this anthology on my 90th birthday)

It’s already a good day.

always with love,
Mom/Mimi/Toni/Antoinette

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WHILE I SLEPT

I GOT UP.
Let’s start again.
So it began yesterday, the reaching out to a poem to be in the day. I called it MORNING – because that’s what it felt like.

Stretching muscles long unused.

So, I GOT UP
to find my July 7th’s thank-you to so many had already been posted.
WOW!

I GOT UP, not knowing that,
simply drawn to pull out a book,
reach for the words that might come alive for me to share.

Here’s what showed up:
“Many lines of poetry are so long embedded in my memory that I find them appearing when I speak or write.
Sometimes I am quoting.
Sometimes I am unconsciously drawing from the reservoir.

Some poets lend themselves to that, because they have found a way to say something important in words that seem almost inevitable.

These words for the most part I made no effort to memorize.
They simply found a place for themselves and they stayed.”

– ROGER EBERT, entitled ‘All My Heart for Speech‘ in the July/August 2013 edition of Poetry Magazine.

To say something important in words
that seem almost inevitable.
Haven’t we all thought we do that, too?
It feels as if something just fell in place … like PLUNK!

AND THERE IT IS.

always with love,
Mom/Mimi/Antoinette/Toni

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MORNING POEM

“Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches —
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead —
if it’s all you can do
to keep on trudging —

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted —

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.”

………..MARY OLIVER
new & selected poems, volume one.

Even relinquishing the easy balance and strength of my body, in my 80’s and now at mid-90’s, took more
than I thought I had of a willingness to “keep trudging”.

My morning silence this whole year was like holding my breath to reach a landing place I could trust.
This far and no further.

That’s what I thought.

And this morning I honor what it takes to dare to be happy.
My prayers were all over the place, prayers for us all.
Maybe scattered because I was only trudging, unsure of what prayer can actually do.

Sometime in May this year, a ground swell of gifts showed up at my door, and I learned just how wonderful it is to feel so loved.

A few people knew about the edema in my lower limbs, and spread the word that I needed equipment to enable my body to adapt to a healing mode of life. To each and every one of you, who contributed so fully, THANK YOU …. Thank you for caring.
Words don’t say enough.

My place has been changed to create room for a lift-chair, bookcases moved, a new TV to delight in. I have learned to use my Rollator with seat to move with confidence anywhere.

Feeling loved?
I had to dare to let that in.
I can dare to pray, whether or not I have ever truly dared to pray before.
……………………………………….

Well, really, our hearts pray for us before we even understand prayer is being in love with life, with each other, with every breath.
……………………………………..
See you around dawn, soon.
always with love,
Mom/Mimi/Antoinette/Toni

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