ENDANGERED

TODAY I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE POWER BACK in our building. I feel as if that “Sandy” storm has blown away all my favorite messages that circle in my head as important from me to me.

Before any more on that, I have this poem for you:

“E N D A N G E R E D
It is so quiet on the shore of this motionless lake

you can hear the slow recessional of extinct animals

as they leave through a door at the back of the world,

disappearing like the verbs of a dead language:

the last troop of kangaroos hopping out of the picture,

the ultimate paddling of ducks & pitying of turtledoves

and, his bell tolling in the distance, the final goat.”

……. BILLY COLLINS, from his book, ‘Questions About Angels’.

Very basic words, life reduced to essential left-overs, and it was this that kept echoing in my mind as I saw on TV pictures the devastation that the STORM has left behind.

Many have lost everything, literally all that they owned, gone, blown away. I have felt helpless in the face of that loss. I have then been amazed at
the stories of sharing and help extended from neighbor to neighbor and on up the line to the help available from our town, our country.

So, here’s where I found something I can do.

Standing in the midst of my own place, I can start again from scratch, yesterday’s importance gone, and see what I can blow away that’s no use to me any more, and what popped up very simply was
…… blame ……. .

I say that without judgement, now.
I see that I can be free to see you and me and all around us with only the clothes we stand in.

That’s 93 years and about 11 months worth of any piled up, incomplete feelings, emotional debts, blaming & shaming that’s held me captive.

Clean slate.
How about that!

always with love,
Mom/Mimi/Toni/Antoinette

20121102-130943.jpg

THE MORNING AFTER

Yesterday was my birthday for the year 2011, very late in
the year, too near Christmas and New Year’s to make a
dent in all the activity surrounding this time, I said.

Yet, whatta day it was!

So many of you, whom I touch briefly, occasionally in the
morning ‘dailies’, let me know what it felt like to be
simply loved.

Thank you, each and every one of you, for the way that
day was so nourishing, so yummy.

Here, now, my thanks to you:

“S U N R I S E

You can
die for it —
an idea,
or the world. People

have done so,
brilliantly,
letting
their small bodies be bound

to the stake,
creating
an unforgettable
fury of light. But

this morning,
climbing the familiar hills
in the familiar
fabric of dawn, I thought

of China,
and India
and Europe, and I thought
how the sun

blazes
for everyone just
as joyfully
as it rises

under the lashes
of my own eyes, and I thought
I am so many!
what is my name?

What is the name
of the deep breath I would take
over and over
for all of us? Call it

whatever you want, it is
happiness, it is another one
of the ways to enter fire.”

………..MARY OLIVER

with love …
Mom/Mimi/Toni/Antoinette