MORNING POEM

“Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange

sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again

and fasten themselves to the high branches —
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands

of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails

for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it

the thorn
that is heavier than lead —
if it’s all you can do
to keep on trudging —

there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted —

each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,

whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.”

………..MARY OLIVER
new & selected poems, volume one.

Even relinquishing the easy balance and strength of my body, in my 80’s and now at mid-90’s, took more
than I thought I had of a willingness to “keep trudging”.

My morning silence this whole year was like holding my breath to reach a landing place I could trust.
This far and no further.

That’s what I thought.

And this morning I honor what it takes to dare to be happy.
My prayers were all over the place, prayers for us all.
Maybe scattered because I was only trudging, unsure of what prayer can actually do.

Sometime in May this year, a ground swell of gifts showed up at my door, and I learned just how wonderful it is to feel so loved.

A few people knew about the edema in my lower limbs, and spread the word that I needed equipment to enable my body to adapt to a healing mode of life. To each and every one of you, who contributed so fully, THANK YOU …. Thank you for caring.
Words don’t say enough.

My place has been changed to create room for a lift-chair, bookcases moved, a new TV to delight in. I have learned to use my Rollator with seat to move with confidence anywhere.

Feeling loved?
I had to dare to let that in.
I can dare to pray, whether or not I have ever truly dared to pray before.
……………………………………….

Well, really, our hearts pray for us before we even understand prayer is being in love with life, with each other, with every breath.
……………………………………..
See you around dawn, soon.
always with love,
Mom/Mimi/Antoinette/Toni

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